Isn’t it strange how Theo has been at my school all this time, yet I never really noticed him until now? Suddenly he’s everywhere. His laugh echoing down the corridor, his cologne clinging to the air.
Today, Ferd casually hands me back my umbrella as we stand by my locker, the metal door clanging shut as I gather my books for next period.
“I think this belongs to you,” he says, thrusting my big umbrella toward me. Just like that. No questions asked, no interest shown, as if he’s passing me a borrowed pencil instead of my talisman which is now also physical evidence of my connection with Theo.
I thank him but this just leaves me seething inside. A hot knot of disappointment twisting in my stomach. The umbrella feels heavier in my hands than I remember.
As soon as I get home, the façade crumbles. All the voices I was trying to suppress in my head grow louder and I can feel the tears welling up threatening to spill over. I dash to my bedroom, still clutching the umbrella, and shut the door. The familiar scent of my room usually comforts me, but today it feels suffocating.
I sink onto my bed, and finally let the tears come. They taste salty and my breath hitches in painful little gasps that make my chest ache. How stupid am I? Stupid and unlovable. I’m never gonna have a boyfriend. Not even a crush. The umbrella lies beside me, its cheerful pink colour mocking my misery.
These past few days, I had hoped Theo would at least talk to me again when he returned it. Maybe he’d say something like, “Can I thank you again with a doughnut? I don’t have one now, but I can get you one at that new place after school?” And then we’d have a not official date. It would be so cliché. But I wanted it.
The worst part is how quickly I built this fantasy around Theo. With Daniel, I spent days replaying our conversation, analysing it bit by bit. But with Theo, one rainy afternoon was enough to construct an entire romantic narrative in my head. It’s beyond ridiculous.
Sophie knocks on the bedroom door just seconds after I shut it. “Are you okay, sis?” she asks, concerned. She knows me too well, so she pushes the door open and steps inside. “Actually, I know you’re not okay, but why? Is it still about that guy from Paris who hasn’t texted you yet?”
Sophie has this uncanny ability to read people with just one look, and right now, I’m an open book.
“Or maybe something happened between you and Ferd? And I completely missed it?” Sophie’s guess isn’t always on point.
The very idea makes my voice crack.
“What? No!”
“So what happened? Because I know you went all cold when he showed up with your umbrella. So you better spill before I go interrogate Ferd.” She nudges my shoulder gently.
“No! Don’t! I don’t want Ferd to know about him.” The words tumble out, my hands instinctively reaching for Sophie’s arm.
“Him being the Paris dude?”
“No, I think I’ve lost hope on that.” Saying it out loud makes it more real, the admission leaving a bitter taste in my mouth.
“Good for you. So who’s this new ‘him’?” Sophie settles more comfortably on my bed, tucking her legs underneath her.
I hesitate for a moment before spilling everything about Theo and the stormy day. The words pour out of me like the rain had that afternoon. I admit that I don’t want to tell Ferdinand about Theo because I don’t even know what to say.
“It is like we spent few hours together in a stormy afternoon, and now I’m in love with him,” I say, feeling utterly ridiculous, my voice muffled as I bury my face in my pillow.
“Or maybe you’re just too much in your head,” Sophie suggests, pulling the pillow away from my face. “It was a pretty meet cute moment from what you said.” She smiles and after noticing no reaction from me, she adds. “I bet that if Ferd made a big deal about the umbrella, you’d still be all anxious about it, dreaming up new plans for your ‘not a date.’”
It takes me a moment to process it all, the tension in my shoulders gradually releasing as I exhale slowly. “Okay, I guess you’re right. I’ll talk to Ferd.”
“Invite him over tomorrow. We can have a movie night sleepover like old times.” The excitement in Sophie’s voice is contagious. It reminds me of simpler days before crushes and university applications complicated everything.
“It won’t be like old times if George is here,” I say, trying to hide the uncomfortable secret I’m holding from her. The thought of Ferdinand’s pained expression whenever George’s arm drapes around Sophie’s shoulders flashes in my mind.
“George is away with his parents this weekend, you fool.” Sophie tosses the pillow back at me.
“So that explains why you suddenly have time for your friends!” I tease, and she throws another pillow at me, this one catching me square in the face. For a moment, it feels like we’re back to being carefree 10-year-olds again, thrilled about the prospect of an everyday sleepover. “Okay, I’ll ask Ferd to come over tomorrow night.”
“I’m still a bit mad that he only hangs out with his other friends now, but I miss him. And he’ll be cool about your crush, you’ll see.”
I smile back at her, but my head is still spinning. I want him to come over. I want to talk to him, though I’m not entirely sure I’ll be telling him everything. And at the same time, I know how uncomfortable he is around Sophie now. At least George won’t be here.
God, I hope we could go back to being inseparable like the good old times.
Dad and Olivia were surprised when we told them Ferdinand was coming over for a movie night. Honestly, I’m shocked too by how easily he said yes.
The kitchen fills with the rich aroma of melting cheese and spices as Dad prepares his famous loaded nachos.
“So… no George tonight?” Olivia asks Sophie, trying to sound casual as she chops jalapeños.
Olivia supports Sophie’s relationship, but she’s clearly not a fan of George. She was stunned when she found out he decided not to go to college, and went on to work on his dad real estate company, which apparently nowadays is the biggest in West England.
Dad, on the other hand, gets along with him just fine. They both live and breathe football, both support Man City, so they watch the matches together and sometimes kick a ball around the backyard with Arthur. It’s cute, the way Dad’s face lights up when George correctly predicts a play or rattles off some obscure team statistic. I wish Dad is like that with my boyfriend when I bring him over. Or, you know, when I have a boyfriend.
Ferd shows up with his usual punctuality and that slightly awkward formality he always puts on around our parents. He hands Olivia a small box of chocolates, and I know it’s partially his mother’s insistence on never arriving empty-handed anywhere.
“Ms. Monteiro, thank you for having me over,” he says, his poor Portuguese pronunciation as bad as mine, though the polite tone lifts his voice a few notes higher than usual.
“Ferdinand, how many times must I tell you to call me Olivia?” she replies, accepting the chocolates with a warm smile.
Dad emerges from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dish towel.
“Ferdinand! Good to see you, son. It’s been too long,” Dad says, clapping him on the shoulder. Ferd smiles, but I notice the slight stiffness in his posture. “You got here just in time for my famous nachos.”
We all take our seats, the silence filled with cutlery tingling pans and plates. Olivia doesn’t waste time. “Ferdinand, tell me about this band I’ve been hearing about. The girls said you’re the lead guitarist now?”
Ferd straightens a little in his seat but smiles, and for the next few minutes, he answers her questions about rehearsals, setlists, how it all came together over the summer. She throws in a few follow-ups about school and his plans for uni, and she’s nodding along like she’s mentally filing every detail.
It’s sweet, the way she talks to him like he’s family. She’s always been that way with Ferd. Sometimes I feel that is it even more than she ever was with me.
The nachos disappear embarrassingly fast. Always a good sign. Arthur declares them the best ever, which makes Dad beam like he’s won some kind of culinary award.
After dinner, Dad and Olivia start tidying up and Arthur’s told to head upstairs and “actually brush your teeth this time.” We finally sprawl out in the living room, just the three of us. Ferd sinks deeper into the couch, like he’s finally letting go of whatever tension he’s been carrying since he walked through the front door.
“Your mum is so intense about college stuff,” Ferd exhales, “I thought I was well advanced in my preparations and now I feel super behind… Do you really have your statements ready?”
We both laugh shaking our heads. “No way!” Sophie says, “She just stop by our room some nights and we have them open, but they are far from ready!”
“I think I didn’t touch mine at all this week.” I add.
“It’s just how mum is, she is an academic mind through and through.”
“Oh,” Ferd looks hundred pounds lighter now. He shoots us his mocking angry eyes, “you could have at least saved me from the interrogation then!”
“And miss the whole panicky look on your face realising you are not the most prepared nerdy person in the room? Never!” Sophie mocks him and we all laugh.
Ferd always had this way of trying to be number one in class. And he doesn’t even try to hide it. Sophie is a bit like this too. They used to banter a lot during our study sessions. It used to bother me so much, but now I miss those moments, stupid fights and all.
We sink comfy in the couch, browsing the catalogue for something to watch, laughing at each other’s silly suggestions. Sophie handles me the remote like she gave up, then leans back with her soda, flicking her eyes toward Ferd.
“So… why exactly did you have Becca’s umbrella the other day?” she asks, casually, taking a long sip of her drink, like she’s trying to pretend it’s just small talk.
Ferd’s brow furrowed slightly, a momentary confusion crossing his face. “Oh, that? You know Theo, from the band, he said he found it and asked me if I knew to whom it belonged.” His words were casual, like business as usual.
I drop the remote in my leg. Sophie and I exchange a look, and suddenly, my heart feels like it’s attempting an Olympic sprint. Why would he make this up? He clearly doesn’t want to see me ever again. I’m such a fool.
“Becca, are you okay?” Sophie’s voice breaks through my anxiety-induced trance.
I realize I’m holding my breath like I’m about to dive into the ocean, and staring at Ferd with the intensity of a detective solving a crime. I blink hard, shaking my shoulders in an attempt to dispel the tension. “That’s not what happened.” My voice comes out stronger than I expected, surprising even me.
“What’s not what happened?” Ferd looks genuinely puzzled, as he sets down his cup, the ice cubes clinking against the glass.
“The fecking umbrella,” I blurt out, the words hanging in the air between us.
Sophie starts clapping excitedly, the sharp sound cutting through the tension. “Yes, girl, tell him! Should I make more popcorn?” She’s practically bouncing in her seat, always ready for drama that doesn’t directly involve her.
Ferd is looking back and forth between me and Sophie, bemused. His confusion gradually morphs into amusement, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He starts laughing, the sound building from a chuckle to a full-blown laugh that shakes his shoulders. “God! I missed this! You girls gossiping around! I feel like I’m behind on everything.”
“And whose fault is that?” Sophie shoots him a look, but he avoids meeting her eyes, focusing on me instead and gesturing for me to continue.
I take a deep breath, as I start to explain. This isn’t just about my silly unexpected feelings for someone, it’s about honesty. I need to know why he lied.
“So I have a theory for his lying,” Ferd starts, adopting that matter-of-fact tone he uses when he’s onto something big, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. “Theo has asked about you before, Bec. He is the one who is always asking me to bring you along.”
“So he likes her,” Sophie interjects with a mischievous grin.
“Yeah, I always thought so, but,” Ferd presses on, “he’s younger. Guys freak out about older girls. Especially if they like them. It’s like… I don’t know, intimidating or something.”
“Are we talking about the same Theo?” I ask before I can stop myself. “He didn’t seem very intimidated to me. He was all smiley and charming and… I don’t know. Confident.”
Sophie shrugs. “Maybe he’s overcompensating. Like fake-it-’til-you-make-it levels of confidence.”
“Have you two even talked since?” Ferd adds, glancing sideways at me like he already knows the answer.
“No. But it’s only been few days. And we don’t have any classes together,” I mutter, picking at a loose thread on the cushion. My voice sounds thinner than I want it to.
They start bouncing theories back and forth like I’m not sitting right here. Sophie’s tossing out wild ideas. Ferd’s rebutting each one like he’s writing a dissertation. And I’m just… here. Stuck somewhere between overthinking and trying not to think at all.
I don’t need a million theories. I just want to know why he lied. That’s all. That’s it.
“Wait, I’ve got it!” I blurt, sitting up straighter like I’ve just solved some mystery.
Sophie and Ferd freeze, both turning to me with wide eyes.
“Okay, no, I don’t actually get it,” I admit quickly. “But I know what we can do.”
Ferd raises an eyebrow. Sophie tilts her head.
“You’ll tell Theo that I told you the truth,” I say, pointing at Ferd. “Like maybe I made a joke when you gave the umbrella back, something about him running through the storm under this sparkle parade, whatever. Just slip it in. Then ask him why he made up that whole ‘found it in the hallway’ thing.”
“Got it,” Ferd nods solemnly. “Operation: Truth Bomb.”
“Yes, exactly,”
He gives me a dramatic salute. “Commander Becca.”
It’s not an elaborated genius plan, but it’s something. And sometimes something is enough.
As the night goes on, we settle into movie mode.
Sophie brings us popcorn and sinks back to the couch, maybe a bit closer to Ferd than she was before. I’m still stuck into wondering what Theo’s response will be. Were the feelings from that afternoon entirely in my head?
I’ll need to wait and see. Because right now, something better is unfolding.
Sophie and Ferd, side by side, arms almost touching, sharing popcorn and laughing together at some funny comment on the movie. Even if Theo and I never become a thing, somehow, he has brought my best friends back together like old times. And for that, I’m quietly, deeply grateful.